M2 CAP League VI - The M2 Hot Snakes

Neil Everett: HOWZIT! As you may have heard in the past several days on our family of networks, the greatest basketball player of all-time and chairman of the Charlotte Bobcats, Michael Jordan, was recently brutally murdered by Charlotte Bobcats forward Michael Kidd-Gilchrist after he beat the 19-year-old in a game of one-on-one. Tonight, members of the basketball community are paying their respects to MJ at a memorial service in Chicago, IL. We now take you live to that memorial service, where NBA commissioner David Stern is currently speaking.





David Stern: ...Michael's impact on the game as a player was unparalleled, and his phenomenal work as a majority owner of the Bobcats will be difficult to replicate going forward.

*from the pews*

White Mamba: Oh, for fuck's sake, Stern, they were last in the league. Give me a fucking break.

David Stern: Excuse me, Mr. Mamba, this is a memorial service. We are trying to pay our respects to one of the greatest.

White Mamba: Well, you could at least put some lipstick on before you pull down his panties and kiss his cold, dead ass.

David Stern: Honestly, Mr. Mamba, I have had it up to HERE with your shenanigans!

White Mamba: ...Shenanigans? Really? Fucking shenanigans?

David Stern: Yes, indeed! You have not coached even a half of an entire season in your three years of coaching the Sixers, Grizzlies, and short-lived Las Vegas Wangs. How can you continue to act so arrogant?

White Mamba: What is this, Stern? Are you challenging me? You know I'm always up for a challenge, you old sack of shit.

David Stern: ...No, I apologize. This is not the time nor place.

White Mamba: No, you know what? I think it is. Give me the Bobcats spot in the league. I'll call up my boys and I'll show you who the greatest of all-time really is.

David Stern: Mr. Mamba, I don't think-

White Mamba: No, Stern. I do think. Get in here, maggots.



White Mamba: ...Where the fuck's our 12th man?

Imadoggy Dogg: Last I heard from him, he was getting baked with the animatronics at Chucky Cheese.

White Mamba: ...I'm OK with that. Now, step aside, Stern.

*walks to podium and pushes Stern over it, stumbling into the church aisle breaking his glasses and two front teeth in the process*

White Mamba: Meet the Hot Snakes, everybody. This is my press conference, now.

Pastor: But, son, this is a memorial service.

White Mamba: Sure thing. Any questions?

Black Woman: Child, what on earth is a Hot Snake?

White Mamba: Oh, you know, it's that thing where you get drunk as fuck and wake up the next morning and have to shit real bad, and when you finally take that dump it comes out like a hot sn-

Black Woman: Lord, have mercy, I have heard enough...


HOT SNAKES.
WE SHIT HOT FIRE.

M2 Hot Snakes

Table of Contents

Highlights:

Game 1 - Orlando Magic

Game 2 - Golden State Warriors

Game 3 - Utah Jazz

Game 4 - Cleveland Cavaliers

Game 5 - Detroit Pistons

Game 6 - Brooklyn Nets

Game 7 - Los Angeles Clippers

Game 8 - Sacramento Kings

Game 9 - New Orleans Hornets

Game 10 - Houston Rockets

Game 11 - Indiana Pacers

Game 12 - Oklahoma City Thunder

Game 13 - Minnesota Timberwolves

Game 14 - Toronto Raptors

Game 15 - Boston Celtics

Game 16 - Portland Trailblazers

Press Conferences:

Introduction

Pooh'Marius Lafantayshawnsha

Pooh'Marius - Player of the Game (written by the one and only Spyda)

Monthly Recaps:

November

December

January

Reserved.

Join us HERE tomorrow night (March 4th) at 7:00PM EST for our first broadcasted game of the season.

Reserved.

JUICE lookin swole AF

I will. Every game will have highlights, even if I livestream them.

My only day off work in 2 weeks happens to be tomorrow. Must be a sign. 11am Aussie time, will go nicely with some rice bubbles

btw if 7pm is a shitty time lemme know.. I kinda just threw that number out there. I'm good to play basically any time after 6pm EST.

Psyched.

Mamba, can you possibly save/upload the entire game as well as highlights? If it's not too much hassle. I won't be here for the game (working) but I'll check it when I get home.

LETS GO.

Edit: BTW change my years pro to 6. I'VE BEEN HERE SINCE THE BEGINNING, FOOLS.

I can definitely do that, but it would take forever to upload. What you can do instead is watch the entire stream on my justin.tv channel after I'm done streaming. It stays up on there for two days.

dang, our team is whiter than the timberwolves.


PS stoked for the game tonight!



PPS what are our player overalls around? roughly, of course.

I would say it's an average of 86 or 87. Complete estimate.

STREAM STARTS IN 7 MINUTES! JOIN US HERE

Someone should make a rival team.

why did you shut it down mamba?

Damn. Juice with the spin move n dunk in the 2nd quarter.

Crippa's reverse alley-oop was pretty much the dunk of the decade, lol.